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Thursday, July 22, 2010

Stupid People Upset Me

OK, so I'm not the smartest person in the world. I can accept that. However, I have a very low tolerance for stupid people. And clearly, because of this, I'm plagued by them.

I don't think that a society with a reasonable median intelligence is too much to ask, do you? I'm not even talking about education, just...humanity? Satisfactory level of social skills? Basic reading comprehension? Some spelling knowledge (or at the very least utilizing spell check before attempting to tell someone off on a social media website.) You know, maybe some average common sense and awareness?

Apparently it IS too much to ask for, because the majority of the population is severely lacking. At the very least, I expect people to have my competence level or greater. That's all. I'm not asking for everyone to be a rocket scientist!

Here is a list of things I cannot do, and therefore should not be expected of your average, everyday person.

1.Fill in all the states on a map of the U.S.-- Seriously, who needs to do that besides like...I dunno, geographers or something? Besides, I always forget one or two, like that pesky New Hampshire or illusive Indiana. Where the hell are those anyway?

2.Ride a bike. Unnecessary. Actually, I don't think people should bicycle. Period. Mainly because it's irritating to me when I'm driving and some Lance Armstrong wanna-be is tooling along on his ten speed, sightseeing like it's a Sunday afternoon.

3.Solve mathematical equations requiring more than a 10th grade algebra class in order to complete. Unless you are an engineer, this is most likely useless. Once again, I am basing my rant on the general population. See also: why graphing calculators can kick rocks.

That's all I can think of at the moment; I'm sure there are other things, because clearly I'm not completely perfect. Now, to counterbalance this rant, here are a couple things I expect of society...AT THE VERY LEAST.

1.DO NOT, under any circumstances, quibble with the store cashier regarding any amount under $1.00. Chances are, I am in line behind you, and therefore I will never get back the 10 minutes of my life you wasted by making the check-out guy re-evaluate whether or not you were overcharged for your 75 T.V. dinners.

2.Please keep your eyes on the road while driving. Although I am guilty of many driving indiscretions, taking a tour of my purse or staring in the complete opposite direction than the car is going are not among them (at least not usually.)

3.If your opinion on life is in any way racist, homophobic, bigoted, or just plain irritating, please keep it to yourself. If I cared what you thought, I'd ask. Or not. My kids are not 100% white and although you may not realize it, being racist then apologizing when you learn that little tid bit of information is too little too late as far as I'm concerned. Just sayin. Oh, and please don't reproduce and spawn evil little mini-yous, either. Thank you.

4.In public: If I don't know you, you don't know me, and I'm vigilantly avoiding eye contact, it might not be the best time to a) strike up a conversation about your personal life, with details that make me vomit in my mouth a little b) ask me for money c) start leering in a way that makes me look around nervously for the nearest law enforcement officer.

5. If you are a complete stranger to me but check my blog/facebook/myspace because you are interested in my ex-husband, then you are already a proven creeper and you should find something better to do. If you are a complete stranger wanting to date my ex-husband and you read something on my blog/facebook/myspace and it makes you mad, well, you shouldn't be reading it in the first place. But, if you do, don't call him and complain or I can assure you he will tell me and I will more than likely laugh at you on one of the aforementioned public internet sights for a long time into the future. Actually, I can guarantee you he will tell me and I will get great amusement out of it and probably taunt you for some time to make you madder. I'm immature like that. But most importantly, if you are a complete stranger stalking my personal corner of the internet and I say something to offend you, under no circumstances should you threaten to fight me or I will forever bring it up long after you have lived to regret saying it. I mean, really, 35 year old women threatening to fight complete strangers because of comments made on facebook is not cute. Really. Don't do it. Ever. Or forever be the punch line of a million jokes by a girl that is laughing too hard at you too be even remotely scared.

But I'm optimistic about the future. Really.


**This is my "I know tae-bo" look. Be warned.**

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2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Rach, it is now official...I love you, your attitude, and your way with words. You rock! ~Sarah Brennan

Erics wife said...

Sarah, I've loved you since Freshman year! True Story.