Beatle vs. the African American

Beatle is my baby. He is the youngest child and even when he is 40 I will more than likely call him to make sure he had a healthy dinner and to see if he needs me to come over and read him a bedtime story. My older kids say Beatle regresses to a toddler when I am around and I must say, if I wasn't in such denial, I would probably agree. He's mamas boy and not afraid to use that to his advantage anytime he is within eyesite of me.

And did I mention Beatle is the happiest child I have ever met? I mean, the kid is even happy when he has to wake up at an ungodly hour. He starts the day with a pep in his step and keeps a smile on his face all day.

So, the other day when he walked in with his arms folded over his chest and on the verge of a complete meltdown I knew something major had gone down in our normally harmonious little neighborhood. I immedietly ask in my "tell mommy all about your problems" voice what happened. His older brother, who lives to tell on his siblings (as well as myself, the neighbors and anyone else he can catch in a compromising position) immedietly launches in on an elaborate tale while Beatle begins whailing away with crocodile tears spewing from his eyes. After I kick Mikey out of the room I calm Beatle down enough to have the following give-and-take session:

Me: "Was someone being mean to you?"
Beatle: "Yes"
Me: "Who?"
Beatle: "This mean kid."
Me: "Well, what did he do?"
Beatle: "He called me a baby!" (Wow, imagine that! Im thinking to myself.)
Me: "Well what did you do to make him call you that?"
Beatle: "NOTHING!" (huge tears and sobs are overtaking his 7yr old body at this point.)
Me: "Well, what did you do when he called you that?"

Before Beatle can launch his defense I hear this statement yelled from the peanut gallery "Beatle said to him 'WELL AT LEAST I'M NOT AN AFRICAN AMERICAN!"

(Apparantly, Mikey never went to his room, but was instead hiding in the hallway around the corner relishing every juicy detail of Beatles verbal exchange and was just waiting to ice the cake at precisely the right time. )

**crickets chirping**

Wow. How am I going to respond to this one? Im trying not to laugh while mentally deciding exactly how to phrase what I need to say and all along secretly thanking the good Lord in Heaven that their father wasn't present to hear this one.

Me: "Well, Beatle, what do you think you are?"
Beatle: shrugs and looks totally confused.

In the meantime, his oldest brother, Marcus, has paused the playstation and is eating this whole conversation up.

Marcus: "Boy, YOU are African American!"
Beatle: Eyebrows together and arms crossed over his chest "HUH UGH! AM NOT!"
Me: "Yes, honey, you are half African American."
Beatle: (still looking confused and not quite sure how all this has turned around on him.)
Me: "Beatle, your daddy is African American."
Beatle: "HE IS?" (a look of total shock and disbelief on his face)
Marcus: "Yea, dummy, what did you think dad was?"
Beatle: (completely serious) "I thought he was just some black guy."

At this point, their is no way I can continue to participate in this conversation with a straight face.

I guess being 50% responsible for giving Beatle life, actively participating in the day to day raising of this child and attending every birthday, major holiday and milestone in Bealtes life, poor daddy has been reduced to "just some black guy" in Beatle's eyes.

Never in my life have I dialed a phone number quicker than I did at that moment to repeat that story to Beatles poor unsuspecting father. And I must say, he didnt enjoy the punch line nearly as much as the rest of us!!

**Beatle with some black guy