We agree on a very tiny percentage of our overall programming.
(That may or may not be because I watch shows mainly consisting of rich, unrealistic teenagers and gay farmers. Allegedly.)
Our small amount of common ground is made up of family guy (because it comes on late and I am too tired to complain) and The Office. One of the other shows we manage to watch together on lazy Sunday evenings is "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition." (as long as it's not one of those 2 hour marathons that cuts into The Real L Word, cause I certainly can't miss that!)
However, we watch for different reasons. I watch for the heartwarming stories and the ideas for home decor. Hubs watches for the demolition, the renovation techniques, and the opportunity for non-stop verbal abuse of one Mr. Ty Pennington.
The root of this is jealousy. Hubs has stated on MANY occasions that he wants Ty's job. So, in typical male fashion, he expresses his envy with attacks on poor Ty's character, wardrobe, and workmanship.
You must admit, Ty has it pretty good. He gets paid to build awesome things for deserving people. He's a handyman with a heart. He carries that show. His job matters. There is no Extreme Makeover: Home Edition without Ty Pennington.
Hubs has a pipe dream to overthrow Ty's reign. While I am usually supportive of my husband's hopes and dreams (you know, within reason), I cannot say that I fully agree with the idea that he could do the job better than Ty. And here's why.
Top Five Reasons Why Hubs is No Ty Pennington:
1) Ty is friendly.
Hubs? Not so much. He's a little prickly on the outside. He is polite and kind, but reserved until you get to know him. He's not the sort of guy a perfect stranger would run up to and bear-hug. I make fun of him all the time for thinking things are "ridiculous" and "getting a little out of hand." (Particularly when it involves me leaving the house without fixing him a snack.) His favorite expression is "What the heck is going on around here" when he is forced to dig through the clean clothes basket to find a tank top that he feels should already be folded and put away in his drawer. Did I mention he fancies sticking his lower jaw out in a bulldog-esque grimace when he's irritated, and his normal facial expression resides somewhere between "bemused" and "I don't like you."
2) Ty is not afraid to act silly.
There is absolutely no way that Hubs would do the on-the-job clowning and hamming it up that is Ty's TV persona. Hubs does not dance around (unless he is trying to get my attention in the comfort of our own home when no one else is looking... oh wow, I feel a new blog coming on, with his "hand dances" as the topic.) Also, hubs does not wear funny outfits. He does not do cartoon-ish voices. At best, he baby-talks on occasion, but we will keep that to ourselves because, trust me, if I filmed that and put it on national television, well, you'd be more likely to see Hubs starring on an episode of America's Most Wanted instead.
*This is as close to "dressing up" as hubs is gonna get. (And it's only because OSHA requires him to.)
*And here you see Ty Pennington goofing around and being funny at work.
3) Ty is a heartthrob.
This is up for debate, obviously. I happen to find Ty Pennington very handsome. Of course, I also think that Hubs is one fine male specimen, but in a completely different way. Hubs does not artfully spike his hair, he runs his hand thru it and it stands wherever he wants, but I can assure you, hubs does not use mousse, or agonize over his hair, or think about it once he leaves the bathroom. Hubs does not accessorize with large amounts of man-jewelry. He does not spray tan. And, after a long day's work, Hubs ACTUALLY LOOKS DIRTY. VERY dirty.
*OK, who am I kidding, hubs is a freakin heart throb, I must say. But this pic wasn't taken while he was busy building something. He really isn't all that friendly when he's working.
4) Ty is a team player.
While Ty might be the team LEADER, he very much appreciates the input and efforts of his design team. He lets them do their separate projects, and lavishes praise on the final products. Hubs is the typical do-it-yourself-er. He likes to work alone, and takes pride in what he does. (Plus, I also think he likes to be able to guilt trip me about how I don't help him.) But, hubs has also been foreman of very large construction sites for many years and well, plainly put, hes an alpha male and is, at times, bossy. (Oh who am I kidding, hubs is always bossy.) He gives orders, he doesn't take them, or compromise, or ask for anyone's input. And if he was expected to play paddy-cake with his inferiors by asking their opinion he would most def think things were "ridiculous", "getting out of hand" and wonder "what the heck is going on around here." Just sayin.
*hubs getting things done at work and looking all scary boss while he's at it!
5) Ty could sell lumber to a beaver.
Extreme Makeover operates largely due to retail sponsorship. Home goods stores and companies donate to the cause in exchange for a tiny bit of advertising time during the build. Ty fully supports this and plugs different businesses left and right with ease. Hubs would have HUGE boots to fill and NUMEROUS asses to kiss. I don't know if he's up for the additional challenge. Oh no. Hubs is better left whipping out the company credit card and paying for his supplies, cause he is not gonna chase some wall paper exec around town with a little umbrella (sans Bentley Farnsworth.)
*Ty the butt kisser
My husband is a handy dude. Make no mistake. I will never go homeless or cold because I think hubs could build a house in a week. And he can make just about anything light up and turn on (no pun intended.) And I have full confidence. It's everything ELSE that goes along with the job that I'm worried about.
So, if anyone would be interested in an Extreme Makeover: Home Edition episode where there is no Ty Pennington, no design team, and no blatant advertising, Hubs would be the perfect host.
Just so long as you're aware of what you'd be watching: a show about a big dirty sweaty guy who builds you a beautiful house while running around yelling at people and being scowly.
I'd tune in for sure. He gets pretty creative with the profanities.
1 comments:
I love your blogs. You are a very gifted writer!
Latisha
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