Growing Old Up

There are days when I HATE being a responsible adult.

(I'm using the terms "responsible" and "adult" loosely. But still.)

Now that my life is on it's way to being over since I'm pushing thirty-five thirty, I'm basking in the lovely glow of my late twenties, there are ALL KINDS of things I want to do but I can't.

(I guess it's not so much "want to do RIGHT NOW", and more of "wish I still had the option", but it's annoying nonetheless.)

Today, for example, there were numerous things I considered and dismissed because I'm old, crotchety, and set in my ways too conscientious, and am aware of many new developments of alarming new behaviors that are at war in my head.

I will list them for you:

1) I saw some fabulous boots. I wanted them so bad that I was willing to sell my body all of my worldly possessions in order to get them. (Or put them on hubs credit card.) But I didn't. Because I probably would've felt guilty, and then I wouldn't enjoy them. (Plus, I would have gotten another lecture from hubs.)

2) I then spent the rest of the evening google searching the aforementioned boots hoping I'd find them for a great deal, or find something similar. I found this. (Le sigh. Le shudder. Le KNOCKOFF.) However, I'd already managed to halfway talk myself out of needing them, using words like "practical" and "comfortable". Then I sat on the couch and at some cheetos while watching reality T.V... oh and I petted my dog, George, for while.

3) Yesterday I almost ran a red light. But then I worried that a cop would see me. And then I worried about a potential red-light camera. And then I worried about what Hubs would say if either of the first two scenarios happened. By the time I finished worrying, I missed my opportunity and I sat at the red light and thought about how I could really go for a Slurpee. (But then I dismissed it as "too sugary.")

4) After dismissing the Slurpee, I thought about getting a vanilla coffee but it was after 4 PM so I was afraid I'd have a hard time getting to sleep. This is coming from the girl who used to drink a 2 liter of coke at midnight and go home and immediately fall into a coma, AND who does not go to sleep before 1 AM even NOW. Then I did a little happy dance in my seat because I remembered that I could swing into Starbucks for a double chocolatey chip frap from Starbucks if I made a left two lights up. Then I decided I was too tired to stop and I went home.

5) After I wrote #2, I googled "pet vs petted" to see if I was using it correctly. That means I have a lot of time on my hands and also that my OCD is selective because not only is "petted" potentially not even a word, according to the internet, but it will not be the first or the last grammatical error I make on this blog. If I were young and carefree, this would matter zero. (I'm not sure why but seriously, I spent 5 minutes trying to find out the correct word and then at the last minute changed it again. When you read this it could still be either one.)

6) After my super strenuous day of shopping, pointless worrying, and google searching, I watched Hubs paint a door and got really excited about it, telling anyone who would listen about how GREAT THE DOOR LOOKS and WHAT A DIFFERENCE IT MAKES. Five years ago I would've told myself to shut the hell up because no one cares about your HGTV-loving ass but today I waxed poetic for 20 minutes about gloss vs. eggshell. New high, or new low? (Or maybe I was just high off the fumes?) (If so, that's pretty young and carefree of me. I'm awesome.)

I know that being in your not quite half thirties is not old and that all of these scenarios are just elaborations on my already bizarre, amazingly interesting personality, but there are times when I hear something come out of my mouth and I don't recognize myself.

(You know, stuff like "You're right, Hubs, I'm sorry" and "No thanks, I have enough shoes/bath and body works frosting lotion/diamond rings/french fries.")

Then I go "WHO IS THAT GIRL?", followed by "Whoever she is, she has GREAT HAIR!"

And then I feel a little better.