Hey, it's me. Us. At 34. Don't be scared.
A couple things, I guess, before I get started. In the coming year? Our senior year? The year we promised to have school spirit, and go to prom and have a fabulous final year. It didn't happen. You got pregnant. October 1, 1993 is going to kick you in the teeth and you will feel lost and confused and like everything is over. Don't beat yourself up. People will tell you not to keep your baby. Or to at least put him up for adoption. You never consider it. And it was the first grown-up decision we make. And the smartest one. Things get better. A million times better. And that little baby is going to grow up with you. And will make you so ridiculously proud and happy.
The whole college thing? I know you think we're going to T.C.U. to study law right out of high school. It's what we planned. And we already talked to the guidance counselor and visited the campus. It's also what we probably should've done. But we don't. And although it'll seem like things are falling apart right in front of your eyes, it all works out. For the best, even.
Oh by the way? You're a horrible driver. And you don't get better over the next 15 years.
I know you think you're fat right now, but it gets better. I mean, you get skinnier. Of course, you also waste some of the hottest years of your life on the wrong guy, but more on that later.
Prom? Nope. Don't get your hopes up. You have a baby that night. Well, actually he comes the following morning. But you were in active labor on prom night.
First year of college will be really hard. Actually, ALL of college will be really hard because you are working a full time job. And having more babies. And what should have taken 4 years, takes 5 1/2. But you do it.
Oh, your first love. Thought maybe I could skim right over him but I might as well tell you. It doesn't work out. You get more kids out of the deal. But you end up divorced after 14 years. And it hurts like a bitch. But you'll be okay. And you end up good friends. Really good friends. Better than when you were married.
You'll be okay.
On the upside: you have amazing friends. You and Trish have been friends for how long now? 21 years? And you have Jessica, and Pam, and Stacy and your brothers and sisters (Oh, yea, you like them now. Honestly, you really do enjoy their company.) And you have all these new and amazing people in your life that we don't even know right now. Plus, Leslie has Abby. Just wait til you meet her!
And your career evolves and takes you to all kinds of places. You work with children who are in foster care and their parents who want them back. And you help them. And you make a difference. So don't freak out about college too much, cuz not only do you go, you finish.
You will support yourself and be stronger than you ever realized, because even though Mom bugged us a lot (and occasionally still does), she taught us to stand up for our self and good old dad taught us to be self-sufficient and to get our education above all else, cause no one can ever take knowledge away.
Keep writing. You love it. You are fairly good at it. And people will pay you to do it. (How awesome is that!?!)
You'll love the little house you buy at 19 that's all ours, and the kids that keep you from being lonely, even though you'll wonder if 23 is too young to be a mommy of 2.
Oh, the places you'll go: Washington DC (three times with your brother) Salt Lake City & Colorado (skiing with Mike) Las Vegas, Mexico, Shreveport & Corpus Christi (with Eric) ...it'll be good times.
And you'll meet the Hubs. Yea, you may wonder who this "Eric" mentioned above is. He's the one that was always intended for you. You will be ridiculously happy and you will have yourself to thank for that. You will be educated and self sufficient and content with your life the first time he lays eyes on you. And everything will fall into place. Weird, huh?
I won't spoil the rest for you but I'll tell you this: I think the best is yet to come.
So be a good girl, 17 year old Rachael. Cuz I've seen the future, and I'm pretty sure we need to rest up.
A couple things, I guess, before I get started. In the coming year? Our senior year? The year we promised to have school spirit, and go to prom and have a fabulous final year. It didn't happen. You got pregnant. October 1, 1993 is going to kick you in the teeth and you will feel lost and confused and like everything is over. Don't beat yourself up. People will tell you not to keep your baby. Or to at least put him up for adoption. You never consider it. And it was the first grown-up decision we make. And the smartest one. Things get better. A million times better. And that little baby is going to grow up with you. And will make you so ridiculously proud and happy.
The whole college thing? I know you think we're going to T.C.U. to study law right out of high school. It's what we planned. And we already talked to the guidance counselor and visited the campus. It's also what we probably should've done. But we don't. And although it'll seem like things are falling apart right in front of your eyes, it all works out. For the best, even.
Oh by the way? You're a horrible driver. And you don't get better over the next 15 years.
I know you think you're fat right now, but it gets better. I mean, you get skinnier. Of course, you also waste some of the hottest years of your life on the wrong guy, but more on that later.
Prom? Nope. Don't get your hopes up. You have a baby that night. Well, actually he comes the following morning. But you were in active labor on prom night.
First year of college will be really hard. Actually, ALL of college will be really hard because you are working a full time job. And having more babies. And what should have taken 4 years, takes 5 1/2. But you do it.
Oh, your first love. Thought maybe I could skim right over him but I might as well tell you. It doesn't work out. You get more kids out of the deal. But you end up divorced after 14 years. And it hurts like a bitch. But you'll be okay. And you end up good friends. Really good friends. Better than when you were married.
You'll be okay.
On the upside: you have amazing friends. You and Trish have been friends for how long now? 21 years? And you have Jessica, and Pam, and Stacy and your brothers and sisters (Oh, yea, you like them now. Honestly, you really do enjoy their company.) And you have all these new and amazing people in your life that we don't even know right now. Plus, Leslie has Abby. Just wait til you meet her!
And your career evolves and takes you to all kinds of places. You work with children who are in foster care and their parents who want them back. And you help them. And you make a difference. So don't freak out about college too much, cuz not only do you go, you finish.
You will support yourself and be stronger than you ever realized, because even though Mom bugged us a lot (and occasionally still does), she taught us to stand up for our self and good old dad taught us to be self-sufficient and to get our education above all else, cause no one can ever take knowledge away.
Keep writing. You love it. You are fairly good at it. And people will pay you to do it. (How awesome is that!?!)
You'll love the little house you buy at 19 that's all ours, and the kids that keep you from being lonely, even though you'll wonder if 23 is too young to be a mommy of 2.
Oh, the places you'll go: Washington DC (three times with your brother) Salt Lake City & Colorado (skiing with Mike) Las Vegas, Mexico, Shreveport & Corpus Christi (with Eric) ...it'll be good times.
And you'll meet the Hubs. Yea, you may wonder who this "Eric" mentioned above is. He's the one that was always intended for you. You will be ridiculously happy and you will have yourself to thank for that. You will be educated and self sufficient and content with your life the first time he lays eyes on you. And everything will fall into place. Weird, huh?
I won't spoil the rest for you but I'll tell you this: I think the best is yet to come.
So be a good girl, 17 year old Rachael. Cuz I've seen the future, and I'm pretty sure we need to rest up.
**17 Year old us
1 comments:
Pure greatness! Love the spin on P!nk's song and the positive way you look at your life, woman. You didn't miss a thing at prom, so don't ever think you did! Love you... ~Sarah Brennan
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