A penny saved is one step closer to new tank tops.

So yesterday hubs and I decided to take a trip to Target, or as I like to call it: Store-Full-of-Things-I-Want-But-Don't-Really-Need.

(Seriously. Ya'll know what I'm talking about. Don't lie.)

Target is one of those dangerous places where it's easy to lose an hour or two. I usually can't walk under that neon bullseye sign without spending $100. A few staples, like toothpaste and toilet paper, a pair of pajama pants, some trail mix, a bag of whatever-holiday-is closest candy, an extension cord, a Wii game, a pair of flip flops, a set of pillowcases... it adds up fast.

When I go with Hubs, we try to moderate each other. Do I really NEED that purple patent leather wallet? (Yes.) Does he really NEED new socks? (No. Not if it means I don't get my wallet.) Does he NEED coffee? (No.) Does my baby puppy NEED a new sweater? (Of course.)

All kidding aside (you know, as much as I EVER put "all kidding aside"), hubs is trying to watch what my spending these days. Target is like the antithesis of that plan.

(Life goal #345 checked off. "Use 'antithesis' in a blog post.")

(And SERIOUSLY? Charging $15 for a plastic stick that YOU PEE ON AND THEN DISCARD is highway robbery. I'm buying a rabbit next time.)

(I mean, by the time I actually GET PREGNANT, we'll have spent all of the poor kid's college fund on PEE FILLED PLASTIC.)

(Just kidding. There's no college fund for the baby we may or may not conceive. lol)

Anyway, we managed to get out of Target for less than $125, which is practically a record, only to be accosted by donation-seekers right outside the door.

Tip for solicitors: Go ask for money outside of some place where people don't spend a lot. Like the Dollar Store. They'll be much more likely to give it to you if their whole shopping trip cost less than a latte.

(P.S. I donate to things all the time. I'm not completely without a heart. But unless your charity is accepting overpriced pregnancy tests in lieu of cash, I don't know what to tell you. Try me in a couple weeks.)

Anyhoo...

Hubs goes to put our huge bounty costing $125 few paltry items on which we spent a fortune into the trunk of the car, and something blue caught my eye. SOMETHING FROM A WEEK AGO THAT I HAD TOTALLY FORGOTTEN ABOUT. I immediately slid into the passenger's seat and looked out the window.

HUBS: (looking over the top of the car directly into the rearview mirror) Are there clothes in the trunk?

ME: Hmm? What?

HUBS: In your trunk. Is that a bag of new clothes?

ME: Uhm. No. Yes.

HUBS: *eyebrow raise*

ME: Just, like, a shirt. Or two. And-some-headbands-and-a-couple-of-those-strapless-cotton-bras-which-are-a-total-necessity.

HUBS: Uh huh.

The moral of my story is this: You can totally buy yourself $40 worth of new clothes when you're supposed to be saving money, and hide them in your trunk until you forget about them and your husband finds them, because he will have bought $60 worth of fishing bait two days before and will have no room to criticize.

(Plus, he will have no actual fish to show for it, while you will have two similar yet very different pink tanktops.)

However, you will immediately feel guilty about not donating to the solicitors' worthy cause.

But then you will look at your Target receipt and start yelling about how you just spent OVER $30 ON THINGS RELATED TO URINE, and then you'll just feel sorry for yourself.

Who knew that one shopping trip could be so very, very complicated?